In June of last year, my boss let me know they would be downsizing my job. It meant fewer hours at less pay. With that conversation, I joined the millions looking for employment. In the beginning, I was positive I would get a job quickly. I have a solid background and a good resume. Ten months later, it's not always so easy to maintain a positive attitude.

In my good moments, I remember I am an intelligent, mature woman who has a lot to offer an employer. In my darker moments, I feel old and useless. Job hunting is tough on the psyche. Each job interview requires I see myself as actually doing the job I am interviewing for. When the job doesn't come through, its almost like losing another job. I've come to look for any job I can do and my salary expectations have fallen as well.

I'm grateful I have a good family of loving people cheering me on. I have my garden to disappear into when I can't look at another job ad. And, I do still have those few hours each week I put into what's left of my former job. But I wonder about others who aren't so lucky with their surroundings. And, I get angry we are bailing out bankers and giving money to auto makers when so many individuals are struggling just to make it through another day.

I know the theory is those bail outs put people to work. But, it seems it only puts more money in pockets that already have plenty. And, we hear comments about companies that are too big to fail. What does that really mean? It may have a detrimental effect on world markets, but how much would it really affect the everyday working or non-working person? While "we" work to save those companies, thousands of little businesses are failing. It seems this country, this world needs a different plan, one that doesn't focus on saving large corporations, or trying to maintain a broken system but instead focuses on the basics - nutritious food, clean water, safe shelter. Perhaps in doing so, we'll find a way for all of us to feel productive once again.